


they don't know that we know they know we know

by ImJustPassingThrough



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Friends (TV) Fusion, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Husbands, Inspired by Friends (TV), LONG CHAPTER, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M, No Sex, No Smut, Pining Ryan Bergara, Pining Shane Madej, References to Friends (TV), Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Secret Relationship, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustPassingThrough/pseuds/ImJustPassingThrough
Summary: Zach and Eugene are finally married in Las Vegas! And someone makes a comment to Shane, so Ryan makes him feel better. But, now they can't tell anyone, and  Steven covers for them... But, he can't keep secrets, so Eugene and Zach mess with them. Andrew just doesn't know what's going on, oops.
Relationships: Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Zach Kornfeld/Eugene Lee Yang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	they don't know that we know they know we know

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the TV show, Friends.  
> Season 4, Episode 24: "The One With Ross' Wedding"  
> Season 5, Episode 2: "The One With All The Kissing"  
> Season 5, Episode 5: "The One With The Kips"  
> Season 5, Episode 9: "The One With Ross's Sandwich"  
> Season 5, Episode 14: "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"
> 
> This turned out to be lot longer then I meant... Oops...

Eugene and Zach were finally getting married, they've been dating for years, and it was Zach who plucked up the courage to ask Eugene to marry him, and Eugene did the stereotypical thing, cry, tackle Zach and say 'yes'. They wanted a Vegas wedding, and invited all their friends to join, a few were unable to come but the important friends came; Ned, Keith, Sara, Marielle, Andrew, Steven, and finally, Shane and Ryan.

They had a peaceful flight, and they had a nice day looking at the sights, and gambling and some drinking the first day, but the second day is when it went a bit fuck up, and not for the soon to be husbands, but for Shane and Ryan.

The second day, it was nice, and calm, but then it came to the meal that Eugene and Zach planned. Seems calm enough, everyone was getting along, their parents were getting along. Shane and Ryan were stood to the side, champagne being nursed in their hands, and quietly teasing Eugene and Zach's love eyes, and teasing remarks.

"Oh, Zach, your eyes are like the sun." Sang Ryan, playfully leaning Shane.

Shane laughed, "oh, Eugene! Lets kiss and make out!" The two laughed, and sipped their champagne, giggling and wheezing.

They are happy for their friends, I mean, you only find true love once, and they are clearly in love with each, it was cute. And, they felt honoured that the two wanted them there. They watched Eugene and Zach at the table with their families from afar, and smirked. They really where disgustingly in love with each other.

Ned stumbled over, and sighed, leaning on the two, "well, if it isn't the two Ghoul Boys!" He laughed, cheeks red.

Shane chuckled, "are you drunk?"

"Yeah." Sang Ned, and patted Shane's cheek, "I've heard people say they'd totally go out with you, and that you look good for your age." He giggled, as Keith came over, "but, they're not shocked you're not married—" Keith grabbed him and dragged him off, apologising to the two. Shane was no longer smiling, and instead he was frowning, which Ryan saw instantly, and patted his shoulder, comfortingly.

"Ned was hammered, okay? There’s no way people are saying that." Ryan assured.

"Then why would he say it?" Shane snapped, clenching his glass and looking down.

"Because he’s crazy. Okay?" Ryan said, confused as to why Shane was so upset about this, usually he was fine with being single and unmarried. "He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic."

Shane laughed bitterly, a frown on his face, "my mother’s right. I’m never going to get married." The mount of times his mother had said he wasn't going to marry was unimaginable, she never meant it to be harsh or upsetting, it was always a joke, and she knew Shane didn't care about relationships, but she had no idea that at times it upset him, if she did she would have stopped.

"Oh," Ryan said, understanding now, he was there for a few of those comments, "you know what? That is..." He paused, unsure if he should say what he was gonna say, but shoved down his 'no homo' motto, "who wouldn’t want you?" He asked softly, a gentle smile on his face.

"Oh, Please!" Shane said, looking down. "I'm in my thirties, I'm into men and woman, and I still can't get in a relationship!" He looked down, and set his glass down, and shoved his hands down into his pockets, and Ryan placed a comforting, and gentle hand on Shane's shoulder.

~~~~~

Zach woke up the next morning, and he grinned, he was getting married! He shot up and got dressed quickly and went around to his friends cheering about how he was about to get married, and they sleepily congratulated him. He ran into Shane's hotel room with a smile, and screamed, " ****I’m getting married today! Whoo-hoo!"

Shane smiled uneasily, his quilt up to his chest, "morning, Zach."

**"** I’m getting married, to—day!" Zach yelled in joy, a large smile on his face.

"Yeah you are!" Shane cheered back, grinning.

Zach yelled in joy, and ran out and shut the door, his cheers of joy fading into the distance, as he ran away.

The covers were thrown off slightly, unsure of what to say, and Ryan came out from under them, hair a mess, and a panicked look on his face, "do you think he knew I was here?"

Shane sat up in horror and glanced to Ryan in worry, unsure of what to say, and then looked down, the air tense and awkward, and they both clenched the quilt to their chests.

"Well I’ve-I’ve never done that with you before." Shane said, not looking to Ryan now.

Ryan didn't look at him, and said in an uncomfortable and uneasy voice, "nope." He chuckled uneasily.

Shane messed with the quilt, "so, uh, how are ya?" Wait, what? "How ya... How ya... You okay?" Shane asked, stumbling over his sentence, mortified with himself. They just had sex, and he asks if he's okay, like he would any other day.

"Yep, yep..." Ryan said, stumbling over his words, "you?" He asked, swallowing.

"Yes... Yes... Uh-huh," Shane answered, uneasily, "you?" He asked, and the two looked at each other. "We did you." Shane remembered, embarrassed, but then the two blushed a bright red, realising how that sounded, and well... Ryan wasn't on the bottom the whole time, if anything Shane was the one on the bottom for the majority of the night, and— the two winced. Why were they thinking of this again?

"Well... I’d better get going." Ryan said, coughing awkwardly.

"Oh yeah yeah, absolutely." Shane agreed, awkwardly, and stiffly nodding.

Ryan scooted to the side of the bed, and felt eyes trained on him, and clenched the covers around him tighter, and glanced to Shane, "could you not look?"

Shane went a bright red and his head snapped to the side, away from Ryan, "I-I don’t want to look!" Even if they had looked for the entirety of the night, and their hands had roamed in areas they hadn't known existed.

~~~~~

Steven was looking around for Shane, as he knew Shane had some flowers that was needed for the wedding, or at least, he did the last time he checked, but he couldn't find him anywhere. He turned around and saw Ryan walking in, and so rushed over, "hey, Ryan!"

Ryan turned and smiled, "hi Steven!"

"Have you seen Shane?" Steven asked.

Ryan's smile dropped, and he tensed up, "I’m not seeing Shane!" He denied, defensively, backing up in horror.

Steven stared at Ryan in confusion trying to figure out what Ryan said, "what?"

"What?" Ryan asked back, quickly, panic in his eyes.

Steven shook his head, "okay, whatever. Look, we're missing a few flowers, and I can't find them anywhere. Eugene is freaking out because of it."

"Aw man, weddings are stressful. I haven't a clue." Ryan answered truthfully, and he was genuinely thinking of where these flowers could be.

"I know you don't. That’s why we got to find Shane, he has them." Steven explained, "you know where he is?" He asked again.

"No! Okay!" Ryan denied, horrified and tense again, "what’s with the third degree?! Why don’t you just shine a light in my eyes?!" He asked fling his arms around, and poor Steven just looked utterly confused.

Time was hurrying by, and there was still less flowers, and Eugene was calmer now because he realised that Zach would still marry him, but Zach wanted Eugene happy, and had sent everyone on a wild goose chase for these flowers.

Steven found Shane exiting his hotel room, believing he had them there, "oh, Shane!" Shane looked up to see Steven running over, "have you found them?"

"No." Shane sighed, shoulders slouched.

"I think Ryan's gone out to buy them, which is a good idea since we can't find them." Steven commented, his voice sounding like Ryan was his hero.

Shane tensed, voice full of shock and horror, "why would I care where Ryan is?" He asked, quickly. "You know uhh... You know sometimes I don’t even like Ryan!" He lied.

Steven looked at him confused, but then nodded, "okay." He walked off.

Ryan _had_ in fact gone out and bought a new flower, the exact same as the ones that were already there, and Steven had gone and placed it in the missing area, and Zach looked at Ryan and said, in such a thankful tone, "I'm forever in your debt."

Ryan looked at him weird-ed out, "they... they're _just_ flowers."

But, Zach would not have it, and hugged him. Ryan awkwardly hugged back, more awkward then usual, especially since he now knew he was no longer Ryan 'No Homo' Bergara. Luckily, he knew the wedding was staring soon, and so pulled back, "okay, I'm gonna go to my seat..." Zach nodded, a thankful smile on his face, and watched Ryan walk off.

Ryan sighed and walked to his seat, but paused when he came face to face with Shane. The two coughed awkwardly, and walked to their seats awkwardly, and they have never been thankful the seats weren't next to each other for once. Apparently both Zach and Eugene didn't trust them to not make jokes, which fair enough.

"What we did last night was...." Ryan started, uneasy and awkward, smiling at people.

"Stupid." Shane offered.

"Totally crazy stupid." Ryan agreed, nodding his head at the people seated around them.

"What were we thinking?" Shane asked, smiling, and grimacing awkwardly.

They fell silent, and stopped at the part where they had to split to get to their seats, and Ryan leaned in to Shane and asked, "I’m coming over tonight though, right?"

Shane nodded with an 'obviously' look, "oh yeah. Definitely."

The two nodded and awkwardly rushed to their places.

The wedding was beautiful and speeches made people cry, even Shane and Ryan cried, well, Ryan teared up. It was perfect, it displayed their love for each other, it showed their bond, the wedding was just amazing, and it was the perfect distraction for Shane and Ryan, and the perfect way to stay away from each other until later, well... That was the plan, but now it was the reception. They congratulated the newly weds, separately, and happily watched them dance, and sat through speeches, all while staying away from each other.

Shane went to the food table, and had a plate that he was putting mashed potatoes on, and focused solely on the food, until Ryan joined him, a plate in hand and he too began to plate food, starting with chicken, "hey."

"Hey." Shane greeted back, awkwardly.

Ryan sighed and looked down, and didn't look at Shane in shame, "I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I’m just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship..."

"I know." Shane assured, also sighing, and looked Ryan, ashamed at themselves, "how could we have let this happen?" He asked, shocked and horrified.

"Seven times!" Ryan clarified, in bewilderment at themselves, making Shane groan in distress.

"Well, y’know, we were away..." Shane offered, trying to explain themselves.

"In a _foreign_ , romantic, and rash action city..." Ryan backed up Shane's explanation.

"I blame Las Vegas." Shane said, gesturing as he scolded the city.

"Bad Vegas!" Ryan scolded, taking a spoon and smacked the chicken.

"So look uh, while we’re st-still in Vegas, I mean, we can keep doing it right?" Shane asked unsure, and nervous.

"Well, I don’t see that we have a choice." Ryan said, eyes wide like it made sense, "but, when we’re back home, we don’t do it." He continued, moving to the other side of Shane.

"Only here." Shane agreed.

It fell silent between the two, until Ryan glanced up and said offhandedly, "y’know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs..."

Shane glanced down to him, "I’ll meet you there in two minutes."

"'Kay!" Ryan replied immediately, and threw his plate down onto the table and stalked off to the wine cellar, Shane went and gently put his plate down, and checked himself over, and went to follow, until Eugene intercepted him.

"Hey, Shane. I gotta ask you something." Eugene said, a happy and gleeful smile on his face.

Shane looked at Eugene in distress and like he was in a hurry, " _now_?"

"Where did you get those flowers from? You know the ones that went missing?" Eugene asked, as Zach had told him about how everyone was looking.

Shane looked passed Eugene, "I don't know."

"Well, thank you. I'm sorry if Zach annoyed you." Eugene apologised, not noticing his friends rushed state.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine." Shane found breath freshening spray and sprayed it in his mouth, so minty, but so worth it.

"Are you sure?" Eugene asked worried, he truly felt bad if Zach had annoyed people.

Shane clapped Eugene's shoulder, "yep!" He moved around him and tried to leave and Eugene turned as well.

"But, I feel terrible." Eugene said, and Shane turned to him in annoyance. "I mean, it was my fault Zach got all worked up, because I got all worked up."

"It's fine, really." Shane promised and rushed off, only to see no Ryan in the wine cellar. What the? Was he too long? He waited a minute, antsy and looking at the ridiculously large wine barrels, but still no sign of Ryan and so, rushed back, and saw Ryan sulkily stacking his plate with food. He went over, confused, and slightly hurt, "where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar."

"Forget it, that’s off." Ryan said, glancing up, his voice full of annoyance.

"Why?!" Shane asked, not just hurt but upset Ryan wasn't willing to wait for him. But, Ryan glanced passed Shane, and Shane turned to see a man standing in the doorway.

"The next tour of the wine cellar will start in two minutes…" The man declared, and people clapped.

Oh, well that dampened their mood, but it was a relief Ryan didn't just leave him. Ryan leaned over, "tonight then?"

"Yeah, of course." Shane readily agreed.

~~~~~  
  


The wedding now over, Shane and Ryan made it to their hotel, and went to Shane's room with gleeful smiles. Shane placed a hand on the door handle, "listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me." Shane joked.

Ryan laughed, and placed his hands on Shane's arms, as Shane opened the door to reveal Keith sitting on the bed, and they stumbled to a stop. Shane smiled, and said in fake enthusiasm, "oh my God, Keith! Hi!"

"Oh, hello Keith." Ryan greeted, almost robotically.

"What are-What are you doing here?" Shane asked, tense.

Keith sighed, "well, I just wanted to talk, you know. Kinda sad I'm not married, thought you'd understand." Shane frowned, offended. Was he really that unmarry-able? They both stared at him blankly. "you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?"

Ryan fell silent, "yes, we do." Shane looked annoyed, "but, we have to change first." Ryan said, quickly, plan now in mind.

"Yes, I want to change." Shane said, annoyed. "And why-why don’t you go down and get us a table?" Shane offered, and Keith got up.

"Yeah, we’ll be down in like five minutes." Ryan said, agreeing.

Shane elbowed his side and corrected him, "fifteen minutes." Ryan made a weird squeak.

"Okay." Keith agreed, and got ready to leave, but the phone rang, so he answered, "hello? Oh, it's Quinta! Hi Quinta!" He looked to Shane and Ryan, "guy's its Quinta!"

"Oh, yay..." Ryan laughed sarcastically.

"Great." Shane grimaced.

Keith sat on the bed again and the two sighed, "what happened? Well, we had an issue with the flowers actually, threw Eugene off, which then threw Zach off... No, we never found that, Ryan went a bought others... Yeah, he is great—"

Ryan leaned over, "hey, listen, why don’t we go change in my room?"

"But my clothes are— oh!" They both left quickly and quietly, luckily Keith was distracted, and they rushed to Ryan's room, which had two beds in, much to Shane's confusion.

"I'm sharing with Steven." Ryan explained, and Shane hummed. Ryan glanced around saw no Steven and locked the door with the security bar. Ryan looked to Shane and smiled softly, "wow, you look…"

Shane shook his head, "no time for that!"

The two hurriedly began taking off each others clothes, jackets and ties, but they were interrupted by Steven trying to open the door, but was stopped by he bar.

"Hey, dude, let me in. I got a guy out here!" Steven whispered harshly, "well, it's Andrew! So, let me in!"

Ryan moved to the door and whisper hissed, "well, _I’ve_ got a guy _in_ here."

Steven scowled in confusion, "no you don’t, I just saw you go in there with Shane!" Shane quietly groaned.

"Well, we’re-we’re hanging out in here!" Ryan tried, annoyed.

"Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?" Steven asked, sarcastically, winking to Andrew who grinned.

Ryan glared, "well, I suppose I’d have to say _you_!" He growled. "But, what if we’re watching a movie in here?" Ryan tried.

"Which we are!" Shane yelled, and picked up the leaflet on the coffee table, "and-and we already paid for it. It’s _My Giant_!" He showed Steven the paper from the door gap, and Shane and Ryan secretly gave each other a high five.

" _My Giant_?" Steven asked, and glanced to Andrew, who nodded, "I _love_ that movie!" Shane and Ryan silently groaned.

~~~~~

Ryan was on his phone, texting Eugene, _hey dude where are u and Zach?_

Shane was frantically trying to find a place for them to go. Ryan's phone pinged, and he looked at it, _we've gone for a walk around the city, probably be another hour or so. Why?_

_no reason, just wondering if you dogs got it on yet._ Ryan looked up and grabbed Shane's wrist, "follow me." He dragged Shane to Eugene and Zach's room, much to Shane's horror, but also horny-ness.

"You really think this is okay?" Shane asked, entering, and watched as Ryan shut the bedroom door.

"Well, Eugene and Zach aren't using it right now, they're on a walk!" Ryan reasoned.

Shane saw flower petals everywhere, and roses on the bed, "it is beautiful." He looked down, unsure and ashamed, "y’know, I-I don’t know if I feel right about this."

"Oh Shane-Shane-Shane-Shane look," Ryan rushed over, "this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn’t get sex, right now. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser."

Perfectly normal reasoning, Shane decided, "okay!"

"Okay!"

They both ran to either side of the bed, and ripped back the covers, just as Eugene and Zach walked in, so Ryan yelled, "nope, not under here!"

Zach frowned, "what are you doing?"

Shane looked up, mortified and annoyed, "looking for my glasses..."

"And your glasses would be here because...?" Eugene asked.

Ryan and Shane shrugged helplessly, and Ryan said, "why did you think I messaged you? And, you're back early!"

"Yeah, we saw everything—" Zach began to say, but Ryan interrupted.

"Well, you couldn't have seen everything!" Ryan tried, frantic.

"Yeah, I think you should keep walking!" Shane added.

Ryan nodded, "yeah, for about 30 minutes."

"Or 45." Shane corrected.

It fell silent, and the newly weds gave the two a weird and confused look

Ryan thought and chose his words carefully, "wow, in 45 minutes you can see everything twice." Shane grinned in excitement for that.

Zach frowned, "you need help looking?"

Shane shook his head, "nah, it’s getting late."

"Yeah, we’re gonna go." Ryan agreed, "we'll continue."

"You sure?" Eugene asked.

"Uh, y’know, um we gotta get up early and catch that plane for Los Angeles." Shane offered, the two backing up to the door.

"Yeah, it’s a very large plane." Ryan grinned, and Shane bit his lip, "okay, have fun!" He grabbed Shane's wrist, and the two ran out.

Zach and Eugene watched in confusion.

~~~~~

The two searched for a place the whole night, and eventually found themselves sat on the steps of the hotel, and staring blankly in front of them, as they had yet to find a room.

"We have to leave for Los Angeles in an hour." Ryan said, bouncing his leg.

"I know," Shane agreed, and jerked his head to a janitor closet, "I’ve been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don’t you think?"

Ryan looked at him, "we can’t do that, that’s insane. I mean A) we could wake people up and B) y’know, let’s go for it." They jumped up, and rushed to the janitors closet, but froze seeing a man walk in, and look for cleaning products, and two sighed in despair.

Ned walked up behind them, "hey guys, how are ya?"

"We're fine, Ned!" They yelled, loudly.

~~~~~

The wedding guests were on flight 747, while the newly weds were on their way to their honeymoon. Shane and Ryan sat next to each other, quiet, and slightly depressed they hadn't had the chance to do it again.

"Y’know, maybe it’s best that we never got to do it again." Shane offered, awkwardly, and a fake smile.

"Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special." Ryan sighed, wistfully. It fell silent for a few minutes, until Ryan perked up in realisation, "y’know, technically we still _are_ on vacation. I mean, this is part of the vacation process."

Shane blinked and glanced to Ryan with his eyes, "I’m gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I’ll see you there in a bit?" He offered, with fake curiosity.

"'Kay!" Ryan replied with a childlike grin.

Shane got up with a smile, and walked to the bathroom, Ryan turned watching him go, and began counting a few seconds until he would follow, and he turned to the side, and jumped to see Steven sitting in Shane's seat.

"Can I ask you something?" Steven asked.

Ryan blinked, "uh, no."

"You know Andrew? And you know I like him? You think he sees last night as a mistake?" Steven asked, a frown on his face, and a worry in his eyes.

Ryan stared, unsure and desperate to leave, "no."

"But, do you think he likes me back?" Steven asked, "y'know? Like how I like him?"

Ryan blinked, "yes?" He responded quickly, tense.

Steven grinned, "thanks" He playfully punched Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan smiled, and gently punched Steven's shoulder, and got up to follow Shane, but then Steven said, "but, what if he says he doesn't?" Ryan sighed, and sat down.

Ryan blinked, and tuned out Steven. God, he should be with Shane. Hurry up, Steven! Shane won't wait there the entire flight, and damn it, they both needed it! When had he picked up one of the mini boozes? Oh, well! Ryan stared, and was still tuning out Steven, his mind on Shane. Shane, oh Shane! His amazing body, and those soft lip. Why on earth did it take so long for the two of them to have sex? He was amazing, and he couldn't get enough of Shane, like Ryan's own personal brand of heroin. Was he on his second mini booze? Come on, dude! He has somewhere to be! Steven was still going on, and Ryan was still not listening. Shane was probably getting turned off, and he had to get there now! But, how was he to leave? Steven was still talking, why was he still talking?! Ryan tapped his foot. Please, Steven shut up. Any God out there, please shut Steven up! Was he on his third mini booze now? How long had it been?!

"—I mean, I can't loose this friendship, and I can't loose Worth It, and it would make everything awkward if our relationship and friendship went all wrong."

Shane walked back to the two, and Ryan looked up, horrified, and Shane's teeth were clenched together in annoyance. Steven nodded to Shane, "hey, Shane! Wow you’ve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour."

"I know!" Shane hissed out through clenched teeth, and Ryan looked scared, and incredibly apologetic, and shrugged helplessly.

"Had the beef-tips, huh?" Seven joked, and Ryan rubbed his temples.

~~~~~

Quinta smiled seeing the group of friends, and hugged them all, "hey!"

"Hi!", "hey!", "hello!"

Quinta pulled back, and looked at Keith, "oh, Ned! You got drunk to the point of a terrible headache!" Ned's eyes widened in shock, and Quinta turned to Shane, "you had sex!"

Shane and Ryan's eyes widened, and Ryan yelled out, "no we didn’t!"

Quinta rolled her eyes, "I know _you_ didn’t, I was talking about Shane."

Shane shook his head quickly, "Quinta, I did not have sex!"

Quinta sighed and nodded, "sorry! I've not seen you in a while, and I guess it's thrown me off."

"Lets go, I'm ready to sleep for a week." Ned yawned.

Steven nodded, "yeah, Ryan, still giving me and Shane a lyft home?"

Ryan nodded, "yeah, sure. Okay."

Ryan and Shane hurriedly got in the car, Shane in the back, and Steven got in the passenger seat, Steven gushed about Andrew, but neither was listening. Ryan was glancing at Shane through the rear view mirror, and Shane was staring at Ryan through the same mirror, the two catching each others eyes, and would glance away each time. Steven didn't notice, and continued on with his gushing. Ryan pulled in front of Stevens, and finally Steven stopped talking about Andrew, "thanks for the lyft, I'll see you later!"

"Yep, see ya." Ryan said, smiling awkwardly.

Shane waved, "bye."

Steven got his things, and walked to his apartment. Ryan drove off to Shane's, and the two stayed quiet, there was an awkward tension between them, and this time, they didn't look to each other. They made it to Shane's house, and Ryan awkwardly helped Shane bring his things into the house, and they did so quietly. Ryan moved to the door and Shane followed him, and they stood near the door.

"Well, we certainly are alone." Shane said, hands awkwardly stuffed into his pockets, and looked down.

"Yep!" Ryan agreed, and smiled, pointing to him, "good thing we have that, ‘Not in Los Angeles’ rule."

"Right." Shane agreed, smiling, and clasping his hands in front of him softly, "um, listen since we’re-we-re on that subject, I, uh, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in Vegas, what with our friends married and Ned saying that guy thought I wasn't marriage material…"

Ryan laughed, "right."

"Well, an-anyway, I just— that night meant a lot to me, I guess I’m just trying to say thanks." Shane smiled, and relaxed slightly. He _was_ so incredibly thankful, and would always be thankful, he would remember that night for the rest of his life.

"Oh. Y’know, that night meant a lot to me too," Ryan smiled, moving closer, "and it wasn’t because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me ‘cause..." Could he say this? Eh, he will, "you’re really hot!" Shane smiled, and laughed, that was nice. Ryan thought he was hot! Ryan leaned in and smiled awkwardly, "is that okay?"

Shane smiled, and chuckled, nodded, "that’s okay."

"And I’m cute too." Ryan said, quickly, and jokingly.

Well, Shane couldn't deny that, "and you’re cute too!"

"Thank you!" Ryan laughed, and the two hugged, Ryan no longer as stiff when hugging a guy, since he's no longer 'no homo', and he has just slept with the guy. "All right, I gotta go home and unpack." The two high-fived.

"Okay." Shane grinned, and watched Ryan leave.

Ryan turned, and smiled, "bye." He shut the door gently.

Shane looked down, and walked closer to the door to stop him, but paused. He shook his head, and thought better of it, he'd lock his door later. He turned around and went to walk off.

The door opened suddenly, and Shane turned around, seeing Ryan walk in, "I’m still on Las Vegas fumes, does that count?"

Shane's eyes widened, and he nodded, "that counts!"

No other words were spoken, Ryan rushed over, and the two kissed each other. Ryan's arms wrapped around Shane's neck, and caressed Shane's cheek, and Shane's arms went around Ryan's waist, gently caressed his waist. Hands in hair, up the shirt, back of the neck, muscles, pant waist, yes!

~~~~~

Steven was sleeping over at Ryan's due to a bug extermination in his apartment, it was only for a week, put it made sneaking around with Shane difficult. Steven was out this day, about three days into him staying, and Shane had rushed over for a shared bath together. And they decided to add candles, as Shane was in the mood for it, and Ryan got the champagne, so they had a candlelight bubble bath and they clinked their glasses together.

"You look cute in bubbles." Shane teased, yet a fond look in his eyes.

Ryan shook his head, "eh, you're just liquored up." Shane laughed, and moved in to kiss Ryan, and Ryan grinned, leaning up to kiss him, but suddenly there was a knock at the door, and the two turned.

"Hey, it's me!" Steven called, "I'm comin' in!"

Shane's eyes widened, and knew he would have to be the one to hide as it was Ryan's house... Oh, his poor, tall self. He took a deep breath, and dove under the water with his glass, and Steven entered, and froze seeing Ryan and seeing what he was doing seemingly alone, and stared confused, I mean... This is Ryan 'No Homo' Bergara.

Ryan slouched, and gave a pathetically sad look, "I've had a very long, hard day."

Steven waved his hand, and continued onto what he was going to say, "I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?"

Ryan shook his head, quickly, "ah, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then!" He said, rushing.

"Okay." Steven said, nodding, and turned to leave, but stopped at the door and turned around, "you sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?"

"For the last time, no! Get out! Get out, Steven!" Ryan yelled, hurriedly.

"All right!" Steven said, holding up his hands in surrender and left, closing the door behind him.

Shane came up, and gasped for air, hair stuck down to his head, and eyes red.

Ryan frowned and leaned forward in worry, "are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave." He apologised, "he kept asking me about chicken." He said, incredulously.

"Chicken?" Shane gasped in interest, "I could eat some chicken."

Ryan looked to the door, "hey Stevie!" Shane took a deep breath, and dove under the water, and Steven walked back in. "Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some coleslaw, some beans, and a Coke—" Shane grabbed _him_ , and he yelped in pain suddenly, "Diet Coke! Diet Coke!" He corrected, yelling pain.

Steven gave a concerned thumbs up and left, shutting the door as he left.

Shane came back up, and chuckled as Ryan splashed water at him. Shane leaned down, and gently kissed him, fondly, and Ryan kissed back softly.

~~~~~

Click, click, click. Shane sighed, and rubbed his eyes, reading, re-reading, editing, and retyping _Weird Wonderful World_ , he couldn't lie he was tired. Ryan was a desk away, focused on his _Are You Scared...?_ series, and Steven was setting up production for these shows, while also texting Andrew every so often. Zach and Eugene were coming back from their honeymoon that day, and had agreed to come by the office to greet them. When? Well, any minute now, hopefully.

They weren't really focused on things going on around the, they focused on their work, (Steven focused on Andrew as well).

"Hey guys!" The three looked up to see Zach and Eugene walk into the office, smiling brightly.

Steven grinned, "hey guys!"

Shane smiled, "well, how was the honeymoon?"

"You got down, and got funky?" Ryan teased.

Eugene flipped him off, his other arm securely wrapped around Zach's waist, "fuck you, you're just jealous you're going through a dry spell that's lasted a couple of years." Ryan raised an eyebrow, yeah right.

Zach elbowed Eugene's side, "it was lovely, the sun was lovely, and the beach was amazing—"

"Notice how he didn't say 'sex'." Shane teased, a cocky grin on his face, and Steven and Ryan chuckled.

Eugene glared playfully, "you don't want _all_ the details."

Shane smirked, "kinky." Ryan wheezed, and leaned sideways, and held his side, laughing.

Ryan grinned, "good to have you both back." He said, honestly, and checked the time,"but I gotta go, I have a dentist appointment." He got up and kissed Shane passionately, his hand on the back of Shane's head, and Shane kissed back with equal amounts of passion, hand going to Ryan's cheek. Steven looked on in shock, and Eugene and Zach stared with a look that said, 'what the hell did we miss?'

Ryan pulled back with a smile, then paused, face falling blank as he realised what he did. Shane stared in slight horror, realising what he just did. He got a rash, and potentially stupid idea, Eugene, Zach don't kill me.

"And uh, Eugene, glad to have you back." Ryan said, going over to him, and pulling Eugene down gave him a kiss just as passionately as he kissed Shane, and Eugene blinked in shock. He moved to Zach, "ZAch, I missed you!" He leaned down, and kissed him passionately, and Zach straightened up in shock. "Stevie!" He went over to Steven and kissed him, Steven's eyes widened, "always a pleasure." He strutted out leaving the guys to stare at each other in shock, and well... Shane stared at Ryan's well toned butt first before looking to the guys.

~~~~~  
  


Shane paced the Buzzfeed Unsolved Office, where was he? Where's Ryan? They're running out of time before everyone came in to film, they had said it was a 'meeting'. He knew The Try Guys were coming around for the supposed ghost hunting activities, and he knew Steven was coming to help record, and that would mean Andrew would probably be there too. As would Devon and TeeJ.

Ryan walked in, and he suddenly relaxed, eyes soft, and moved to Shane, the two kissed softly, arms wrapping around each other, and the gently pulled back.

"What took you so long?" Shane asked, breathless.

Ryan gave a soft look, "I got caught up at Watcher, but I'm quitting tomorrow." He joked.

"Oh, good." Shane joked back, and the two kissed again and turned around so that Ryan was facing the door. Ryan opened his eyes, and saw Eugene, Zach, Keith, Ned, Devon, TeeJ, Andrew and Steven walk in and quickly ended the kiss with Shane.

"So, thanks for the great idea!" He moved over, "Zach." He kissed him. "Eugene." He moved and kissed him. "Ned!" He kissed Ned, much to Ned's shock. "Keith." He pulled Keith down and kissed him, and Keith's eyes widened. "TeeJ." He walked over, and kissed TeeJ much to his horror. "Devon," he kissed Devon and he mouth dropped in shock. "Steven!" He kissed Steven. He walked over to Andrew, who jumped out the way, so Ryan kept walking.

Andrew waved, awkwardly, "see ya!" He looked at the others, "what the hell was that?!"

Shane helplessly shrugged, "probably some y'know, drunken good-bye thing he picked up in Las Vegas."

"That's not Vegas!" Steven yelled.

"Well, it felt like some kind of drunk mistake." Andrew shrugged.

Ned nodded, and Keith hummed. Devon and TeeJ just looked to where Ryan walked off in confusion.

~~~~~

Shane, Ryan, Zach, and Eugene sat around a cafe, talking about Andrew and Steven.

"Well, they did it the night you two got married!" Ryan said, sipping his coffee.

Zach raised an eyebrow, "what? You sure?"

Ryan nodded, "yeah! Shane and I were gonna watch the movie _My Giant_ , and then Steven comes in and tells me he has a guy, more specifically Andrew! So, we watch the movie, the two start making out, and then Shane can't find his glasses, so perfect opportunity to leave!"

Eugene chuckled, "wait, so, they had sex, and they aren't together?"

Zach laughed, and smiled, "when you like someone, and sleep with them, how do you not go out with each other?" Ryan and Shane glanced to each other, and then back to Eugene and Zach.

"Yeah, I know..." Shane chuckled.

Okay, awkward conversation, time to leave! Ryan rolled his shoulders, and moved to the edge of his seat, "well, I'm gonna go home and finis some work." He got up to leave.

Zach's hand shot out, "hey-whoa-whoa-whoa! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey!" Ryan paused in his movement, and leaned back. "Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new Vegas thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I just—y'know— _stop it_!"

Ryan shrugged, "I was just trying to bring a little... culture to the group." He 'explained' himself.

Eugene shrugged, "that's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth."

"Makes me wanna puke!" Shane lined, and Ryan tilted his head, and looked at him, quizzically.

~~~~~

Shane and Ryan did a lot of sneaking around, nearly getting caught on multiple occasions. They got caught exiting the janitors closet, and said they were looking for a towel, then again The Try Guys walked in when they were making out, and so Ryan left, kissing them as he did, besides Eugene and Zach, and as he left, he apologised to Shane as he 'forgot that Shane didn't like it'. About a week or so of this hiding about, and Steven was was still staying at Ryan's. Turns out his house was infested, everywhere.

Ryan was awake this particular night, the time on the digital clock read 3:02AM, and was getting a glass of eater, when a quiet knock echoed through the house. Ryan rushed over, and opened the door, and there stood Shane, in a large jumper, and pants.

Shane tiptoed in, and said quietly, "hi!"

Ryan smiled, and said just as quietly, "hi!" He gently pulled Shane's head down into a kiss, and Shane kissed back, wrapping his arms around Ryan's waist. Ryan's arm wrapped around Shane's waist, and began to lead Shane to his room, but Steven waked out of Ryan's spared room tiredly, and Ryan pushed Shane away.

Steven turned on a light, and squinted tiredly, "Shane? What time is it?"

"Uh, 9." Ryan lied, and remembered the clock near him pushed it onto the hand, clumsily.

Steven frowned, and scratched his head, then pointed to a window sleepily, "but it's dark out."

Shane smiled uneasily, "well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly!" He laughed, "this is what 9 looks like!"

"I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise." Steven smiled, stumbling over to the bathroom, and shutting the door.

Shane crossed his arms, making himself smaller, "I'm _really_ getting tired of sneaking around." He sighed, walking forward.

"I know, me too." Ryan agreed, and then he smiled, getting an idea, "hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time." He grinned cheekily, shoulders shrugging with the boyish suggestion.

"All weekend?" Shane smiled, eyes lighting up with boyish fun, "that's a whole lotta naked!"

"Yeah, I can say that I have a conference for an episode of Unsolved, and you can say you have a Weird Wonderful World thing." Ryan offered, smilimg.

"Oh, I've always wanted for us to go to and explore this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!" Shane offered, smiling.

"Okay, y'know your not though." Ryan reminded, "let's go." He moved to his bedroom.

Shane stopped him, "wait! What about Steven?"

Ryan raised an eyebrow, and opened the bathroom door to reveal Steve passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth. They shrugged, and rushed to Ryan's room.

~~~~~

The group was in the office, and Shane rushed in with a smile, "hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey, to see if I can get the owner to let us film Weird Wonderful." Ryan winced.

"Oh weird," Zach smiled, "Ryan just told us he's got a meeting for Unsolved there!"

Shane looked to Ryan, "oh now that-that-that's funny, it seems like Ryan's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont." He smiled, sarcastically.

Ryan laughed, and smiled back tense, "I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference." He assured, nervously.

"So, when you two leaving?" Steven asked, looking up from his notebook.

"Saturday." They said in unison, and turned to each other, sighing.

Shane then quickly added, "evening." Ha! Ryan had to take the morning!

"I'm going in the morning..." Ryan said, annoyed. He would have to leave early, as Steven still lived with him.

Steven fist bumped, "I get the house to myself!"

Ryan grinned, and looked to Steven, "no parties young man, and no Andrew."

Steven laughed, "whatever, _Mom_."

Ryan and Shane couldn't wait.

~~~~~

Ryan and Shane were in Atlantic City, New Jersey, about to start their weekend of sex, sex, and nothing but sex.

Ryan jumped on the bed, "I can't believe it! We're here!"

Shane smiled and picked up a small, foil covered square, "oh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!" He grinned.

"Oh, you should live with Steven, _Roll-os_ everywhere." Ryan smirked, waving his hand.

Shane smiled, softly, unable to keep the fondness out of his eyes, "come here." Ryan smiled, and knelt up, and wrapped his arms around Shane's neck, and kissed him. Shane kissed back, his hands and long fingers delicately caressing Ryan's cheek, he gently pulled back, "okay, be right back." He rushed to the bathroom.

Ryan fell back onto the bed, and turned the television on. He sat up straight, seeing a reply of a recent Lakers game, "oh yes!" He playfully moaned out, "Shane, get out here! There's a reply of a Lakers game!"

Shane walked out, holding a glass, "we're switching rooms."

Ryan looked up, and had a mock look of fear, and backed away from him, "oh dear God, they gave us glasses!"

"No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them!" Shane corrected, pointing to the lipstick stain. It was true, there on the rim was a bright, pink, glittery lip gloss. "I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change." Ryan stared at him slightly annoyed, and Shane sighed, "come on honey," Ryan crawled over, and Shane continued, "I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?"

"Okay," Ryan agreed with a smile, then looked at the television, and got straighter, "but let's do it now though, because LeBron just missed the shot!" He flung himself off the the bed, grabbed his things, and sprinted out, and Shane chuckled.

~~~~~

The two walked into a room, being led by a Hotel Clerk, "I think you'll find this room more to your liking." Shane immediately looked around, going to the bathroom.

"Okay, great." Ryan said, and grabbed the remote and turned on the television game, and sat on the edge of the bed.

The clerk stood with Ryan, watching the game, "they say Morris twisted his ankle, it's why he wasn't the best this game."

"Twisted his ankle?" Ryan asked, "well, we have a rerun of shooting hoops!"

Shane pulled back the curtain, and walked back to Ryan, arms crossed, "we're switching rooms again."

"What? Why?" Ryan asked in shock, and gawping at the game.

"This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room." Shane explained, annoyed. This was not like Ryan! It's like he was only focused on the stupid game!

"Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you." The clerk said, staring at the game as well.

Shane leaned into Ryan slightly, "excuse me, um, can I talk to you over here for just a second?"

"Uh-huh." Ryan mumbled, and got up, but he didn't take his eyes off the television.

"Ryan!" Shane hissed.

Ryan snapped his head to Shane, "yeah."

"Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em!" Shane declared, "and we're not a couple of suckers!" He said, shaking his hands slightly.

"I hear ya, bug guy!" Ryan said, copying the hand shake, "but look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch..." He trailed off, realising what he was saying, and Shane raised his eyebrows, "...have a perfect, magical weekend together with you."

Shane nodded, and smiled sarcastically.

~~~~~

The two had moved rooms, _again_ , and Ryan immediately went to the T.V., and Shane looked around, to check everything was right, and smiled, as it passed his inspection, "okay, _this_ one I like!"

Ryan scowled, seeing ER on, "nothing! It's over! Dammit!" HE hissed, "this is regularly scheduled programming!"

"Can we turn the TV off? Okay?" Shane asked, frowning. "Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?" Ryan stood up, arms crossed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?" Ryan asked, sarcastically and annoyed.

Shane sneered slightly, "hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!"

"Oh, who should I blame?" Ryan asked, voice annoyed. "The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?"

"I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could play on twisted ankle!" Shane offered, angrily.

Ryan recoiled, voice small, and offended, "do not speak ill of my man, Morris."

"We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together," Shane said, frowning, "it-it, what is the matter with you?" Shane asked, upset.

"I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal?" Ryan asked, confused. "Geez, relax mom." Ryan rolled his eyes.

It fell silent between the two, Shane digesting what Ryan just said, and the hissed out, "what did you say?"

Ryan paled, and felt sick, why did he say that? He swallowed, and tried to save himself, "I said, "Geez, relax Shaaaaannnneeee.""

~~~~~

Ryan returned to the office that Monday, finished with his disastrous weekend. He relaxed, and sighed, slouching in his seat, and rubbed his eyes.

Steven walked in and spotted Ryan, "hey, you're back!"

Ryan nodded, "hey. See you moved out."

"Yeah, they exterminated it, but they wanna do one more session. How was your meeting?" Ryan asked.

Ryan sighed, "it was terrible. I fought with... The owner y'know, the entire time."

Steven winced, "oh, so your weekend was a total bust?"

"Uh, no, I got to see Brad Pitt waiting for an elevator." Ryan grinned, and Steven laughed.

Shane walked in, "hi!"

"Hey, you're back too!" Steven grinned.

"Yeah." Ryan nodded, "um, Ryan can I talk to you outside for a second?"

"Hey, how was your Weird Wonderful thing?" Steven asked.

"Oh, it was awful." Shane said, and glanced to Ryan, "I guess some people just don't appreciate really good publicity."

"Well, maybe it was the kind of publicity that seems good at first but then made everybody uncomfortable and miserable." Ryan offered, arms crossed.

"Ryan!" Shane yelled, jabbing his thumb to the office door, outside.

Ryan mocked his tone, and gesture, "Shane!"

Shane led Ryan out into the hallway, and brought out a check book, "okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half."

Ryan sighed, "okay, fine, $300."

"300 dollars?!" Snapped Shane, glaring.

Ryan smiled, sarcastically, "yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!"

Shane groaned, and wrote it down, and Steven stuck his head out from all the noise, "what are you guys woofing about?"

"Ryan stole a twenty from my wallet!" Shane yelled, pointing to Ryan accusingly.

"No!" Steven gasped "y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and _you_ always have lots!" Shane smirked, and Ryan frowned.

~~~~~

Ryan entered his house to see Steven on his laptop, and said, "hey!"

Steven looked up, and grinned, "hey, Mr. Bergara. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left yellow tinted glasses in your room."

Ryan blinked, shit Shane... He'd have to take the blame, and Ryan wasn't even a fan of yellow glasses on him, "yes that was mine..."

Steven squinted in confusion, "'cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl, or guy and they left it there."

Ryan blinked, and nodded, "yes that would have made more sense."

"Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man!" Steven sighed, distressed. "All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya, and I won't judge." Ryan tensed, as Steven paused. "Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!"

Ryan glared, "fuck off. No, I wasn't!"

~~~~~

Ryan went over to Shane's house and knocked on the door, Shane opened the door and paused. Ryan shuffled on his feet, "hey..."

"Hi." Shane replied.

Ryan awkwardly entered, and Shane backed up, letting him. Ryan looked down, "I just came over to drop off… nothing." Ryan sighed, giving up on his lie. "So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?"

Shane nodded, "yeah, it did. So, I guess this is over." Shane sighed, looking down.

Ryan frowned, "what?"

"Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime." Shane explained, like it made sense. I mean, that's what happened in the past for him.

"Why, exactly?" Ryan smiled, confused.

"Because of the weekend, we had a fight." Shane explained, like it was normal and common.

Ryan grinned, "Shane that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer than— Oh!" Ryan called out in realisation.

Shane smiled, "so, this isn't over?"

Ryan laughed, and went closer to him, "you are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about." He explained, smiling, "that's why I came here, to check on you, and apologise."

"It's fine..." Shane smiled, "this is great!"

"Welcome to an adult relationship!" Ryan smiled, and pulled him down to kiss him.

Shane stopped him, "we're in a relationship?"

Ryan grinned, "I'm afraid so."

Shane smiled and shimmied his shoulders in joy, and said in delight and boyish charm, "okay!"

Shane swooped down and kissed him softly, caressing his cheek, and Ryan kissed back, arms going to his neck.

~~~~~

The Try Guys, Worth It boys, and the Ghoul Boys were sat around Ryan's house, Steven now having moved out. Finally, Ryan and Shane could have a lot more _fun_. The group was catching up, and Zach and Eugene were on about how they were debating on adopting a cat, or a dog.

Eugene's eyes lit up in thought, "oh hey, Shane, I heard you saw Brad Pitt at your convention!" That was more fun then dogs, or cats! That gorgeous man! Being seen by Shane! Oh, what Eugene would give to see Brad Pitt.

Shane grinned and nodded, "yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator."

Ryan blinked, and glanced to Steven, tensely, and Steven frowned in thought. That sounded... Brad Pitt, elevator... Steven shook his head dismissively, nah. Ryan stayed tense, and glanced between Shane and Steven, nervously.

"Hey, how come I don't see you wearing those yellow tinted glasses anymore?" Andrew asked, sipping his beer.

Shane shrugged, "I lost them, must've left the on my trip."

Ryan winced, yep, this is it. He glanced to Steven, scared. Steven stared at a wall, nodding, smirking. _Yeah_ , Ryan had yellow tinted glasses in his hotel room. Said they where his, but he probably slept with... His eyes widened in horror and Ryan immediately sat up straighter, oh shit.

Steven harshly pointed his finger at Shane, "oh! Oh!" He pointed to Ryan who stood up, "oh!"

"Steven, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked worried, and frantic, and he grabbed him and dragged him to Ryan's room.

"Oh!" He pointed Ryan again, "oh!" Shane rushed after them, and Steven repeatedly pointed to Shane, "oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!" The door shut.

Ryan tackled Steven to the bed, who yelled out, "oh!" And covered Steven's mouth. Steven yelled a bit more, but soon stopped, and so Ryan removed his hand, "yes. Yes." He got up.

Steven sat up, and pointed to Ryan, "you?!" He pointed to Shane, "and-and you?!"

"Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!" Shane said, worried.

"How?! When?!" Steven asked, frantically looking between them.

"It happened in Vegas." Ryan answered, with a slight sigh.

Steven's eyes widened and he roared out, " **in Vegas!** "

Ryan yelled out a random string of noises, trying to shut Steven up and looked between Steven and the door, "the reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it."

"But it is a big deal!" Steven insisted, and then got up, "I have to tell someone!" He went to run, but they both grabbed him and stopped him, dragging him back, and dumping him on the bed.

"No-no-no-no-no! You can't!" Shane denied.

"Please? Please?!" Shane begged, "we just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell." He said, hands clasped together begging, and Ryan had his hands up in surrender.

Steven thought it over in distress, looking between them. Ryan, Shane, Ryan, Shane, Ryan, Shane, Ryan, Shane! "All right!" Steven eventually agreed, defeated and the couple sighed in relief, "man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's _great_ , but…"

Ryan smiled softly at Shane, and Shane smiled back, "I know, it's great!" He walked over to Ryan and kissed him, and Ryan kissed back.

Steven saw and grimaced, and looked away, "I don't want to see that!"

~~~~~

Steven was keeping his promise, he told nobody of what was happening. He walked into the office early that working day, and noticed only two people in the office, and who were those people? Shane and Ryan. And not only was it Shane and Ryan, it was Shane and Ryan making out, on Shane's desk chair. Lip locked, arms wrapped and grabbing at everything, hand running through hair and caressing cheeks.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Steve yelled, and the two hurriedly pulled away, blushing. They were together, kinda, but they weren't a showy one. Steven continued, "none of that, not while you're under Watcher roof!"

"What?" Shane asked, confused.

Steven rolled his eyes, "look, just because I _know_ about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it." He reasoned.

"What are you even doing here this early?" Ryan asked, arms around Shane's neck.

"I had nothing to do, so I came into work. Big mistake." Steven said, "look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about."

"Okay, sorry." Shane apologised.

"Sorry..." Ryan sighed.

They waited for Steven to go into his office and watched him close the door and started making out again. Steven yelled from his office, "I can hear that!" They pulled back quickly.

"Out the back is empty." Shane offered, and Ryan smiled, the two gripped hands and ran out of the building.

It fell silent, and Steven yelled, "I can still hear you!"

~~~~~

The group sat around the coffee table, silently, staring at Eugene and Zach.

"What?" Eugene asked, frowning.

"You want to adopt a _child_ , like an actual _child_." Steven asked, frowning.

Eugene frowned, "yes. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Oh, no! It's not too hard! Just clarifying!" Steven smiled, nervously.

Eugene deflated, seeing how his friends weren't supportive of their decision, "huh, okay... I'm gonna get a tea..." He got up and walked off, and Zach followed without saying anything.

"We can all agree this is a bad idea..." Shane said, worriedly.

Andrew nodded, "yeah. I just think they're rushing it."

Ned shrugged, "I think it's fine... In a year or so..."

"Who's gonna tell 'em though?" Keith asked quietly, leaning in so the Kornfeld-Yang's didn't hear.

Ryan sipped his coffee, "nobody... We can't say a thing, you saw how sad Eugene was when Steven seemed against it, image how he'll be if _all_ his friends are against it."

Steven frowned, "wait a minute... Is this a secret that we have to keep?" Not another secret.

"Yes, Steven." Ryan hissed, "we'll try and sway their mind, subtly. But, we say nothing bluntly."

Seems like a good plan, except it's not. In fact, it's a terrible plan. They tried to subtly hint it was bad, but Eugene and Zach weren't picking up on the hints, they were sure they wanted a child, and Steven was getting gray hairs from everything. I mean, the guy's now keeping two large secrets. No matter what, they couldn't change Eugene and Zach's mind. And Steven may have snapped, which then created a big argument, and now Eugene and Zach weren't talking to any of them.

Steven felt awful, he couldn't believe he had snapped and outright said, 'you're not ready to be parents. You're still young, and you're being rash.' what was he thinking?

"God, I feel so guilty about everything." Shane said, after a day of the husbands not talking to them.

"I know..." Andrew sighed.

Keith looked down, "this is awful..."

"I kinda feel like it's my fault." Steven sighed, and Shane and Ryan turned and stared at him in shock.

"Kind of?" Ryan asked in shock, "if you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened!"

"Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out!" Steven retaliated, glaring at Ryan.

Ryan blinked and nodded, "well, I think it's very brave what you said!" Shane patted Steven's shoulder in agreement with Ryan.

Eugene and Zach slowly walked in, and Keith and Ned got up instantly, profusely apologising, but they waved their friends off. Eugene sighed, "I hate to say this, but Andrew was right..."

Zach nodded, "yeah, we aren't ready for kids... Maybe in time... But, well, we were just being rash. We need to discuss it more, and actually reflect on it."

"So, thanks for being so forward Steven." Eugene reluctantly thanked.

Steven grinned, and brushed his shoulder of invisible dirt.

~~~~~

Shane and Ryan weren't talking to each other, and Steven rubbed his eyes tiredly, and took the two away from everyone, "alright, why are you two not talking?"

Shane glared at Ryan, and then looked to Steven, "he cancelled on me last night to hang out with Ned."

Ryan sighed, "look, I couldn't help it, I couldn't cancel!"

"Well, why not?!" Shane yelled, glaring heatedly at Ryan.

Ryan raised his hands, and dropped them to his side, "he'd ask why! What am I supposed to say, 'oh, I'm fucking Shane'!?" Ryan asked, sad and tearing up slightly.

Shane huffed, "no! But, something! You're working out, family is around! Extra work—"

"He'd have rearranged it for another time, and I'd have to cancel with you then! Either way, I'd have to be away from you!" Ryan explained.

Shane glared, and crossed his arms, "well, at least then you could warn me instead of just cancelling!" He stormed off.

Ryan sighed, and rubbed his eyes, "I didn't mean to Steven..."

"You need to apologise, you shouldn't have cancelled last minute." Steven explained, "you should have rearranged with Ned, and then warned Shane..."

Ryan sighed, "I know, I know, I suck..." He wiped his eyes, and sniffed, "god, how do I apologise for this mess?"

"I don't know, but you gotta try." Steven sighed, and walked off.

Ryan slouched, and rubbed his eyes again. Damn it.

~~~~~

Shane slouched in his seat at home, tired from the argument with Ryan. He knew Ryan didn't do it to hurt him, but he was upset that Ryan still did it, then argued with him. God, he wished it could just take it all back, or restart the other day again.

Three knocks sounded at the door, and he went over and opened it, then froze. At his door was his short friend with benefits, Ryan, but he had this oval shaped pinata, more specifically an egg shape, with a crack on it, and a blue shirt and blue pants, and blue trainers.

Shane crossed his arms, was that..."nice try."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ryan held up his hands then reached into his satchel, and brought out a large wavy mouth and stuck it on.

Oh, it is... "look, Ryan…"

"Look!" Ryan then produced two, large googly eyes and stuck them on, and they looked in opposite directions, away from each other.

No way... Shane held back his smile, "this is not going to work."

"I bet this will work!" He cleared his throat, and held up a cheap microphone and pressed play on his phone, and began to rap, "Doctor Goondis, Doc-Doctor Goondis. Doctor Goondis, Doc-Doctor Goondis. Doctor Goondis, Doc-Doctor Goondis. Doctor Goondis, Doc-Doctor Goondis." He rapped, "my name is Doctor Goondis, and I'm here to say, you will soon straight up die today—"

Finally, Shane laughed, cutting Ryan off, "you are so great! I love you!"

Ryan slowly lowered the microphone and turned off his phone, "what?"

"Nothing!" Shane denied in horror, "I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!"

"You said you loved me!" Ryan yelled, eyes wide behind the pinata.

"No I didn't!" Shane denied.

"Yes, you did!" Ryan yelled.

"No I didn't!"

Ryan pointed to Shane, "you love me!"

"No I don't!" Shane yelled, and jumped around, "stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

Sara walked up to Shane's apartment, looking at her phone, she wasn't aware of what was happening, all she saw when she did look up was Doctor Goondis, huh, wait! Sara screamed and ran, and soon their attention was taken away from each other. Well, at least she didn't know it was Ryan.

~~~~~

"What am I sitting on?" Zach asked, wriggling on the office sofa.

"I don't know, don't you have flavoured thongs to try with your husband?" Ryan asked, barely glancing up from his computer, "and don't you have work to do instead of just hang out here?"

Zach reached into the couch and pulled out white underwear, "ew-ew! Undies!" He threw them to the group, and Andrew looked up in shock. Ryan and Shane glanced to each other in horror, and Andrew picked them up with a pen.

"All right! Who's are they?" Andrew yelled, shoving them into peoples faces, "who's are they?"

"Well, they're not mine!" Eugene defended.

"Well, they're Stevens'!" Ryan yelled, and Steven's face fell, "they gotta be Steven's!"

Andrew turned and stared at Steven, who stared back. Why must he be lying about this to his crush? Steven crossed his arms, "yeah, they're mine."

"See? They're Steven's!" Ryan said, and scribbled on some paper, not looking to his friend, "S-S-S-S-S-Steven's!"

"Why are they here?" Eugene asked, horrified, and moved next his husband and held him.

"I don't know uh…" Steven thought about it, and sighed. "Well, I'm Steven. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in the office."

"Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?" Andrew demanded, holding them closer to him with the pen.

"Yeah!" Ryan yelled out, and Shane hummed in agreement.

Andrew waved them in front of Steven's face, "take 'em!" Steven made a whine and moved back, and Andrew frowned, "Steven, you can touch them! They're _your_ underwear."

Steven rubbed his neck and took them, and stood up, "Ryan? A word." He walked into the hallway.

Ryan shrugged and followed Steven.

****Steven turned to Ryan, "that's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop!" He waved the underwear around, and yelped in horror, throwing them to Ryan who caught them, "and tighty-whiteys! What are you, eight?"

Shane rushed into the hallway, "thank you Steven, thank you so much!"

"Oh hey, no, you're not welcome." Steven snapped, "okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! Remember? I had to lie about why our professor outfit prop was missing, _Shane_ and I had to say it was for me, as I was doing a play! Listen, I can't…"

Ryan interrupted him, "all this lying has been hard on us too."

"Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!" Steven yelled, arms crossed.

Ryan blinked, "well, yeah actually."

Shane frowned, "we'll try to be more careful okay?" Shane promised, "it's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret."

"I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships." Ryan explained with a pained expression.

Shane rested his chin on top of Ryan's head and his arms wrapped around his waist from behind, "we are! Help us!"

Ryan held Shane's hands and wrists, and leaned back into him, "help!"

Steven sighed, "fine... Fine..." He would probably come to regret this...

~~~~~

Steven had plucked up the little courage he had and asked Andrew out on a date, so here they were, walking home from that date, well home as in Ryan's. Yeah, Steven's house was being exterminated, _again._

"God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out." Andrew admitted, a small smile on his face.

"So you uh, still wondering?" Steven asked, a small smile on his lips.

Andrew chuckled, "no."

Steven unlocked the door, and Shane and Ryan jumped away from each other, no longer making out, and rushed to Ryan's (Steven's) spare room. Andrew noticed there was about twenty candles in the apartment, and Steven ushered him in.

Andrew smiled, "candles!" He looked around, and noticed a few things, "what is that? A blanket? A video camera?" His eyes's widened, and then turned and glared at Steven, "oh my God!" He stormed out, and swung the door open, storming passed Eugene and Zach who came to visit.

"Oh no-no-no-no," Steven chased after him, "wait-wait-wait!"

Andrew turned on him and glared, "I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date!" He stormed out.

Zach walked in with a frown, "uh Steven, is what he just said um—Oh my God." He noticed what was around the room, and his eyes widened in shock, "you were actually gonna..."

Ryan walked out pf the spare room confused, and Zach and Eugene's eyes widened, "what is going on here?"

"And with Ran in the next room!" Eugene called in shock, "what are you, what are you sick?"

****Steven turned to see Ryan looking at him with soft, begging eyes, and sighed, annoyed, "I'm Steven. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films." He glared to Ryan who smiled thankfully.

****Zach and Eugene left, feeling utterly disgusted in their friend, and Steven spun around to glare at Ryan, and Shane came out of hiding. Steven frowned, "you guys _promised_ you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Steven name is being dragged through the mud here!"

"We're so sorry." Shane apologised, frowning.

"Yeah." Ryan agreed.

"Well, I'm telling everyone about you!" Steven yelled, and their eyes widened in worry. "That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!"

"No-no, wait!" Ryan yelled, hands up, "there's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you _had_ to make an adult film for your... adult film class?"

Steven blinked and smiled, "yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Zach found my underwear at the office?"

"Oh—I don't know." Ryan admitted, sheepishly.

"Well, get ready to come out of the closet!" Steven warned, going to walk out to chase Andrew, but Shane gripped his shoulder.

"Okay, just wait, please." Shane begged, "I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time."

"All right." Steven sighed, "but it better make me look really, really good."

~~~~~

Ryan was on his computer in the office, typing away, when Shane slid next to him. Ryan looked up, and smiled, "hey."

"Hey." Shane grinned, "okay, so um, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview." He handed over a few polaroid pictures with a grin.

Ryan took them and gasped, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, and a sparkle in his eyes, he turned to Shane with a grin, "you're _naked_ in this picture!"

Shane smirked, "I know." Ryan went to kiss him, but Zach walked in, and Ryan pulled away and his the pictures in a document Steven had given him.

"Hey guys." Zach called.

Shane glared, "go to your own studio!"

"Hey, we're doing a collaboration!" Zach explained, "I'm just here for the document."

Ryan and Shane shrugged, and went back to work. Zach grabbed the file, and walked out, but something slipped out onto the hallway floor, and Zach saw pictures. He picked them up, and his eyes widened, "oh my God! That's Shane!"

Andrew walked out and saw his file, and pictures of Shane, "oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!" He tried to grab them, but Zach backed up.

"You get away from me! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!" Zach yelled, as the Try Guys piled in, as did Andrew, Shane and Ryan.

"What's going on?" Eugene asked, going to his husband in worry.

"Steven has got a secret peephole!" Zach said, showing the pictures to Eugene. Shane flushed, horrified.

"Oh no! No! No! No!" Ryan yelled in horror.

"Yes!" Zach shouted, "he has a naked picture of Shane! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats rich food and looks at them!"

Shane grabbed them in horror, "give me that!"

"All right, wait! Just wait." Keith called out, "everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Steven a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!"

"No!" Steven denied, "I am _not_ a pervert! Okay? It's just… I just… Kinda…"

"All right, look!" Ryan called, walking over to Steve, "look. I think I can explain this." He stood behind Steven, who crossed his arms smugly. Finally, he was coming clean!

"Thank you!" Steven called.

"Steven's a sex addict." Ryan lied.

"What?!" Steven yelled, turning around and staring at Ryan, who's silently pleaded with him to go along with it. "No I'm not!" Steven denied.

"It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!" Shane added, quickly.

"No! No! I am not a sex addict!" Steven glared, he wasn't taking this.

"Yes you are!" Shane insisted, "that's the only way to explain all this stuff!"

"No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!" Steven insisted, pointing to Shane angrily.

"Well, what is the truth?" Zach asked.

Steven thought, "I slept with Shane!"

Everything fell silent, Shane's eyes wide, and Ryan blinked, "well let's... Let's see what everybody thinks of that!"

"Oh no!" Shane gasped.

"We just did it once uh, in Vegas." Steven explained.

Eugene turned to him, "Shane, is this true?"

"Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?" Steven insisted, and glared at Shane.

Shane blinked, and sighed, "yes it's true."

"Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in the office the other day?" Zach asked with a frown.

"That was the underwear I was wearing that night in Vegas. Right Shane?" Steven smirked, arms crossed.

"I guess I wanted to keep it..." Shane grimaced, "as a souvenir."

"My God Shane!" Eugene yelled in shock.

Ryan frowned, "are you sure Stevie? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?" Ryan insisted.

"No!" Steven denied, "if anyone's a sex addict here, it's Shane! Yeah. Yeah. He has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since Vegas!"

"So that's why he gave you a naked picture of himself!" Ned said in realisation.

"That makes sense!" Steven insisted, hand raised.

Andrew frowned, "and the video camera?"

"Uh, Shane?" Steven asked.

All attention was now on Shane, and Shane shuffled awkwardly, "I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Steven."

"I was not be enticed!"

"Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Shane's underwear?!" Andrew yelled in shock, and horror, "why? Why would you do that?!"

It fell silent, and Shane groaned, shoulders slumped, "I'm Shana. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants!"

"Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not!" Steven nodded, arms crossed.

~~~~~

Zach was minding his own business, but today taught him a valuable lesson, hang out in his own studio. He had been walking around, looking for Shane, and walked into the supply closet, only to see Shane and Ryan... doing it, together. And so, he rushed out to Eugene and Steven in worry, "Ryan and Shane! Shane and Ryan!" He yelled, eyes wide in disgust and fear.

Eugene bright him down and held him, "woah, hey, what's wrong?"

"My eyes! My eyes! Shane and Ryan! They were doing it!" Zach yelled in fear.

Steven sighed, "I know..."

"Wait, you know?" Zach asked, eyes wide, and Eugene just blinked.

"Yep. I've been covering for them." Steve sighed, and Eugene made a noise of realisation.

Zach waved his hands, "wait, wait! So, whenever they were out for an Unsolved brain storm meeting, or a creation of puppet history, they were actually..."

"Doing it, doing in." Steven insisted.

Eugene blinked, "so,they know you know..." He pointed to Steven, "but, they don't know we know..."

"Yes, but y'know what?" Steven smiled in realisation, "it doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!" He cheered.

"Or, we could _not_ tell them we know and have a little fun of our own." Zach grinned, leaning into Eugene.

"What do you mean?" Eugene asked with a grin.

"Well y'know every time that they say that like they're having a meeting, or fixing camera's. We give them work, idea's, plans..." He explained, smiling.

Eugene called out in wonder, "I'd like that!"

Steven grinned, "or, you know what would be even more fun? Telling them."

"Eh, no, I wanna do Zach's thing." Eugene insisted.

Zach turned to Steven, "and you don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!"

"I can't take any more secrets!" Steven whined, and looked to Eugene, "I've got your secrets. I've got their secrets. I got secrets of my own y'know!"

"You don't have any secrets!" Eugene insisted.

"Oh yeah?" Steven grinned, "well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal." It fell silent, and Steven shied away, blushing.

"So um, how-how are we gonna mess with them?" Eugene asked, grinning to his husband.

"Well, I could use my position y'know as the best friend." Zach grinned, "and you could use y'know the strongest tool at your disposal. You're sexuality!"

"Hey guys!" Ryan called, walking in with a leather jacket, and everyone greeted back.

Zach looked to Eugene, who winked and went up to him. Ryan looked up, pouring a coffee and smiled, "hey."

"Hey! Oh, wow that jacket looks great on you!" Eugene complimented, smirking.

"Really?" Ryan smiled.

Eugene felt up his arm, "yeah the material feels so soft—hello Mr. Bicep!" Ryan shuffled, "have you been working out?"

"Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things." Ryan joked, and Eugene giggled uncontrollably. Ryan frowned, "are you okay?"

"Well, if you really wanna know, I'm..." Eugene looked down, shaking his head, "oh! I can't tell you this."

Ryan frowned in worry, "Eugene, it's me. You can tell me anything."

"Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too." Eugene sighed sadly, and distressed. "And the one person I want to the most."

"What's going on?" Ryan asked, extremely worried.

"I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy, like a guy guy, with muscles and all, in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don’t even see that it's right there in front of you with a coffee, and leather jacket..." Ryan's eyes widened in shock, and Eugene covered his mouth in shock with the tips of his finger, "oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will." He bent down, making a show of showing off his butt, and grabbed his file, then walked off.

Zach and Steven looked down, away from Ryan.

~~~~~

Ryan and Shane were cuddled on Ryan's bed, Shane's hand running through Ryan's soft, silky hair, and Ryan's eyes were closed, smiling dreamily.

"You are so cute!" Shane gushed, with a smile, "how did you get to be so cute?"

"Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny." Ryan joked, tired and nuzzling his face into Shane's neck.

"Okay, now you're even cuter!" Shane chuckled.

Ryan opened his eyes, and smiled in thought, "y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say."

"What?" Shane asked, looking to Ryan, jealousy oozing through his veins.

"The weirdest thing happened in the office, I think, I think Eugene was hitting on me...?" Ryan said, unsure and uncomfortable.

Shane looked at him confused, "what are you talking about?"

"I'm telling you I think Eugene thinks I'm foxy...?" Ryan anwsered.

"That's not possible!" Shane smirked, holding Ryan close.

"Ouch..." Ryan joked.

Shane smiled, "I'm sorry it's just, Eugene just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way. I think that you just misunderstood him."

"No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? He was all over me!" Ryan explained, "he touched my bicep for crying out loud! Said he liked my leather jacket!"

"This bicep?" Shane asked, squeezing his bicep, "okay..." He continued to squeeze Ryan's bicep. "But, your leather jacket." He flicked his wrist.

"Well, he liked it!" Ryan defended.

~~~~~

The group were sat in the cafe sipping coffee, and Zach walked in, "hey Shane, what are you doing now?"

Shane looked up, "finishing off my coffee, and y'know actually I was gonna stat on the puppet history script."

"Oh." Eugene mumbled.

Shane looked to Ryan, "hey Ryan, wanna do it with me?"

Ryan grinned, "sure, I'll do it with ya!"

Eugene and Zach looked to each, and Zach said, "okay great, hold on a sec!" He reached into his bag and fished out a book, "here you go! Andrew has a few ideas!" Shane stopped smiling, and took the book, "you can give notes on what you like, and what you don't like!"

Ryan blinked, "well, uh, we might do Unsolved instead—"

Eugene brought out another book, "Buzzfeed has ideas for that too! Feedback would be appreciated!" Ryan took it and his shoulders sagged.

The two said a hesitant and sad 'bye', and Eugene leaned over, "bye Ryan!" He then whispered, "I miss you already." He secretly pinched Ryan's butt, and watched as Ryan and Shane rushed out.

Once they were a distance away, Ryan looked up and said, "okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!"

"Actually, I did!" Shane said in shock, and jealousy, "I can't believe he would do that to Zach..."

"Okay, so now do you believe that he's attracted to me?" Ryan asked as they walked back to the office.

Shane's eyes widened and he paused, gripping Ryan's arm, "oh my God! Oh my God! He knows about us!"

Ryan's eyes widened, "are you serious?" They'd been so careful after no longer having Steven to fall back on.

"Eugene knows and he's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!" Shane said, snapping his fingers.

Ryan frowned and shoved his hands into his pocket, "okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps in my leather jacket—" His eyes widened, "he knows!"

The two rushed into the office to see Steven, and Ryan yelled, "Steven!"

Steven quickly threw his penguin teddy to the side, "yeah?"

"Eugene knows about us!" Ryan yelled in shock.

Steven shrugged, eyes wide, "well _I_ didn't tell them!"

Shane's eyes widened in horror, " _them_?! Who's _them_?"

Steven's eyes flashed in panic, "uh, Eugene and... Steven!"

"Steven..." Shane warned, voice low, glaring.

Steven sighed, "and Zach. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!"

"Oh man!" Sighed Ryan in distress, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry!" Steven apologised, but then smiled, "but hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and _I_ can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!" Steven grinned.

"Unless…" Shane said, holding up his index finger in realisation, getting an idea.

"No!" Steven denied, "not unless! Look this must end now!" He whined.

"Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us!" Shane smirked, and looked to Ryan with a sly grin. "But see they don't know that we know that they know! So…"

Shane's eyes lit up in mischief, "ah yes, the messers become the messies!"

~~~~~

Zach and Eugene sat in their house with Steven, having a cup of coffee and tea, discussing what plan to go with next to mess with Shane and Ryan. Eugene's phone rang, and he looked at the caller ID, "it's Ryan!" He answered, and put it on speaker, and the two went silent. Eugene's voice went deep and sexual, "hello you."

"Hello Eugene, I've been thinking about you all day." Ryan replied in a sensual voice, his phone on speaker, and Shane next to him, listing.

Eugene's eyes widened, "eh?"

"Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued." Ryan lied, and grimaced, and Shane grinned.

Eugene tensed, "really?"

"Yeah, listen, no one is gonna be at mine tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep." Ryan shivered, "or maybe more..."

"I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye!" Eugene hung up quickly, panicked, and Shane and Ryan gave each other a high five. Eugene looked to Zach and Steven, eyes wide, "oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!"

"Are you kidding?!" Zach asked, shocked.

"No!"

"I can not believe he would do that to me and Sha—" Zach trailed off, and slowly turned to Steven, who was staring at the floor, sipping his coffee, "Steven, do they know that we know?"

"No..." Steven denied.

"Steven." Zach warned.

Steven looked at him blankly, "they know you know."

Zach groaned, "I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!"

Eugene snapped his fingers, "they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?!" Eugene yelled, and then looked to his husband. "They don't know that we know they know we know!" Steven shook his head, and Eugene turned to him, "Steven, you can't say anything!"

Steven threw his hands up into the air, "I couldn't even if I wanted too."

~~~~~

The couples were in separate corners of the lunch room, and Steven was sat there, unamused.

Shane was with Ryan whispering, a grin on his face, "look at them, they're panicked!"

"Oh yeah, they're totally gonna back down!" Ryan cheered, quietly.

Shane smiled, "oh yeah!"

****Eugene stared at them and looked to Zach, "all right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in."

"Keep being sexy." Zach grinned.

Eugene sauntered over to Ryan, eyes half lidded, Ryan pushed Shane away, and Eugene glared at Shane. Eugene leaned on the wall, "so Ryan, I-I'd love to come by tonight."

Ryan's eyes flashed in worry, but then smiled, "really?"

"Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?" Eugene grinned.

"Yes." Ryan said, with a smile that was more of a grimace.

"Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having," Eugene gripped Ryan's collar and tugged him close, and whispered in his ear, "sexual intercourse."

As Eugene walked away, Ryan mouthed a scream to Shane, who waved his hands to calm him down, and mouthed, 'it's okay, it's okay'.

~~~~~

The Try Guys were walking to Ryan's house, Ned and Keith having been caught up, and the two were dragged out to help. Eugene was in a pink button up, black pants, and a hat, and they neared the house.

"Show time!" Zach smiled.

"Okay, we got the wine and glasses?" Eugene asked, spraying more cologne on himself.

Keith handed over the glasses, and Ned handed over the wine, "how did we get involved..." Sighed Ned, and Keith shrugged.

~~~~~

Shane was hiding in the bathroom, and straightened Ryan's white button collar, "all right, it'll be great! You just make him think you wanna have sex with him! It'll totally freak him out!"

Ryan fumbled with his finger, "okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with Eugene?"

"Relax, he-he's gonna give in way before you do!" Shane assured, unsure.

Ryan squinted, "how do you know?!"

"Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!" He playfully poked Ryan's chest softly, and then caressed his pecks.

Ryan gripped Shane's wrist, "at this?!"

"Just go get some!" Shane kissed him, gently. "Go!" Ryan rushed out, and sighed.

~~~~~

Zach handed over the wine and glasses, and kissed his cheek, "okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!"

"Okay." Eugene grinned, and pushed his friends behind the a wall.

"Okay? Whoa, wait!" Zach undid one button on Eugene's shirt.

"Good idea!" Eugene grinned, and knocked on the door with the wine and, and Zach hid.

Ryan opened the door, and smiled tense, "Eugene."

"Ryan." Eugene said.

"Come on in."

Eugene nodded, "I was going too." They went inside and Ryan closed the door. Eugene helped up the wine, "um, I brought some wine. Would you like some?"

"Sure." Ryan swallowed.

He made a big show out of pulling out the cork and poured the wine, "so, here we are. Nervous?!" Eugene asked.

"Me? No." Ryan answered, tense. "You?"

"No, I want this to happen." Eugene assured, nervously.

"So do I."

They clicked their glasses and took a sip, which slowly turned into a gulp, which quickly progressed into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.

"I'm gonna put on some music." Ryan said, awkwardly, going to his radio and turning it on.

"Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you." Eugene suggested starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance.

Ryan stared, and said blandly, "you look good."

"Thanks!" Eugene smiled, "y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that button up right off!"

"Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?" Ryan suggested, tensely.

Eugene backed up, eyes wide, "really?"

Ryan's eyes lit up in hope, "oh, do you not want to?" Had they won?

"No. No!" Eugene denied, "it's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me."

Ryan swallowed harshly, "well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion." He went to the bathroom, and shut the door. He turned to Shane frowning, "listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? He wants me to put lotion on him!"

Shane's eyes widened, but he shook his head, "he's bluffing!"

"Look, he's not backing down! He went like this!" Ryan mimicked his dead, wriggling.

~~~~~

Eugene was now outside with Zach, Ned and Keith, "he's not backing down. He went to get lotion!"

Steven jogged up the steps and groaned, "oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna hang out with Ryan!"

Zach looked at him, "Steven look, just look at it this way, the sooner Eugene breaks Ryan the sooner this is all over and out in the open."

Steven's eyes lit up, "I like that!" He looked to Eugene, "oh, okay! Show him your chest! He's afraid of chests! Ain't Shane's!" He swiftly ripped open the front of Eugene's shirt revealing his toned chest, and Zach openly stared.

"Steven!" Eugene yelled, and examining the shirt in shock. "Wow, you didn’t rip off any buttons."

"It's not my first time." Smirked Steven.

~~~~~

Shane pointed to the door, "you go back out there and you seduce him till he cracks!"

"Okay, give me a second!" Ryan ran a hand through his hair, and looked around, "did you clean up in here?"

"I panicked!"

Ryan sighed, and slowly exited the bathroom and got pushed from behind by Shane and saw Eugene closing the apartment door.

Ryan became hopeful, "oh, you're-you're going?" Please, leave...

"Um, not without you, lover." Eugene slowly turned, and walked over to him, showcasing his chest. "So, this is my chest."

Ryan swallowed harsh, "it's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very were gonna be having all the sex."

"You should be. I'm very bendy." It fell silent between them, until Eugene spoke again, "I'm gonna kiss you now."

"Not if I kiss you first." Ryan challenged.

They moved closer to together and Eugene hesitantly placed his hand on Ryan's hip. Ryan puts his hand on his left hip. Eugene then grabbed butt, and so Ryan automatically went for his chest, but stops and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss." Ryan said, awkwardly.

"Here it comes. Our first kiss."

They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kissed awkwardly. Shane had his eyes wide open in shock and Ryan was squinting in disgust. He finally broke the kiss after only a short while and pushed Eugene away, "okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win! I can't have sex with ya!"

Eugene laughed, and asked, "and why not?!"

"Because I'm in love with Shane!" Ryan admitted.

Eugene's eyes widened, "you're-you're what?!"

Shane came out of the bathroom, and The Try Guys and Steven entered.

"Love him! That's right, I…LOVE…HIM! I love him!" Ryan yelled and Shane walked up to him, "I love you, Shane."

"I love you too Ryan." Shane smiled, and leaned down and kissed him, arms wrapping around Ryan's waist. Ryan's arms wrapped around Shane's neck, kissing back.

"I just—I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!" Eugene said, eyes wide in shock.

"Dude!" Steven yelled in awe, and a smile.

"And hats off to Eugene. Quite a competitor." Ryan smiled, shaking Eugene's hand, "and might I say your chest is still showing."

Eugene flushed, "God!" He turned around and buttoned up his shirt.

Steven grinned, "all right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!"

"Well actually, Andrew doesn't." Shane admitted.

"Yeah, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet." Ryan said, sheepishly.

Steven glared, tense and angry. Damn it! What the fuck!

**Author's Note:**

> Unrelated: I have Kitchen Nightmares (US & UK), Hotel Hell, and Kitchen Hell on in the background while writing this. And there's an episode on US Kitchen Nightmares with a chef and executive chef with the names 'Ricky' and 'Lexs', but it sounds like 'Legs'. I just thought that was hilarious.


End file.
